Why Should I Forgive?
Let’s Talk About It Series! Pt. 7
Forgiveness is one of those topics we think we understand… until God tells us to actually do it for real. This week’s message took us right into that uncomfortable… but healing… place in Matthew 18. Jesus paints the story of a man forgiven of a massive debt, but who refused to forgive someone else’s small one. And as wild as it sounds… that is exactly how we can live without even realizing it. Holding on to grudges builds a spiritual prison around ourselves that grows darker and smaller until we are the ones trapped.
But Jesus reminds us forgiveness isn’t math. It’s not 7 times. It’s not 490 times. It’s not tally marks. It’s from the heart. Forgiveness is proof we’ve been forgiven already. It’s evidence the Holy Spirit actually lives inside us. And fam… this isn’t about pretending we weren’t hurt… it’s about refusing to let bitterness own us. It’s about refusing to let the prison of unforgiveness become our home when Jesus already paid to set us free.
We Were Forgiven an Unpayable Debt (Matthew 18:23-27)
Before Christ, we owed a spiritual debt so big… we couldn’t work it off in 10 lifetimes. The King (God) didn’t just say, “pay me back eventually.” He wiped the entire debt clean through Jesus. And when we forget how forgiven we are… unforgiveness feels justified. But when we remember the mercy we received; forgiving others becomes the natural overflow of gratitude, not a chore.
Withholding Forgiveness Makes Us the Prisoner (Matthew 18:28-30)
Unforgiveness doesn’t trap the person who hurt us… it traps us. Bitterness grows like mold in the heart. It shrinks our joy, our peace, our compassion and eventually our spiritual vision. The enemy LOVES when we call it “protecting ourselves” but in reality it becomes poison we drink hoping the other person suffers. Meanwhile we’re the ones dying inside.
Forgiveness Requires the Holy Spirit (Isaiah 43:25)
God doesn’t ask us to forgive by human strength. He gives us His Spirit to empower it. We don’t forget as in “erase the memory.” We choose not to weaponize it again. Real forgiveness is supernatural. It is God’s heart living inside ours. And when we yield, the Holy Spirit makes forgiveness possible in moments when our flesh absolutely would not choose it.
The Call to Live Free
Who comes to mind when you think about unforgiveness? A parent? A spouse? A friend? An old church hurt? Maybe even yourself. Fam, Jesus never told us forgiveness would be easy, but He did promise it would set us free. We forgive not because they earned it, but because we were forgiven first. And in Christ, forgiveness is not weakness; it’s evidence of spiritual maturity, spiritual identity, and spiritual freedom.
When we hand the hurt over to God and release the offender from the courtroom in our head; we step out of the prison too. Forgiveness doesn’t erase pain, and it doesn’t instantly restore relationship, that part takes two people, but forgiveness is where healing actually begins. And as we choose forgiveness empowered by the Holy Spirit… we become rivers of living water, not reservoirs of resentment.